Even the most “privileged” homes can create this,
over-emphasizing one area of attention such as looks and achievement to the
detriment of nurturing and affection. I
believe none of us are immune to ways we lower our standards in our lives and
ourselves. Now I’m not talking about becoming entitled and superior. I’m
talking about deservingness of treatment in the love and attention that we give
and receive. Over time, our hearts shut
down from disappointment and we start making a whole host of beliefs of what we
shouldn’t ask for or expect.
I will share with you my personal experience with accepting
crumbs. There is a family story that says that my dad never gave me attention
and gave it all to my sister. And my grandmother would dote on my sister with
bags of candy while I would get just one. I was to be grateful for what I got –
which is not a bad attitude to take but has led me to always accept second or
third best in the way I am treated.
I
would get involved in relationships and stay longer than I should – these
people would send messages that said they didn’t want to be with me then
turnaround and change their mind. I would stay, finding all the reasons and
excuses as to why they are treating me this way. I’d be overly
compassionate.
I also had neglectful
parents – parents who never felt responsible to help me reach my potential, and
would not offer me any financial support, even though they were able to. Whenever I was in a position of success, my
parents were not there. This led me into
feeling that I didn’t deserve much in the way of love, encouragement, and support in my goals and dreams.
There must have been something more I had to be or do in order to receive more
love. I didn’t see that I was surrounded by people who had no capacity to love
and it was not because I didn’t deserve better or more. They were the ones who
never saw me nor felt any responsibility to care for me. So I had to find ways
to care for me. And I’m still learning all the time.
I have had to work hard at raising my standards in my life
and how I wanted to be treated. I’ve had to have courage to detach and
disconnect from family members and “friends” who did not have my best interest
at heart, nor have compassion for my needs because most likely they didn’t know
their deservingness. I’ve had to
re-align with my values and know that no matter if someone doesn’t see my worth
or they don’t treat me well, it doesn’t mean that is what I should accept. Because I know that the world of our divine
heritage is one where we are meant to thrive and come into our own while
treating others as divine beings, whether or not they know this about
themselves.
This is why I do what I do – serve women who have struggled
with emotional abuse or neglect to help them grow in greater self-love and
self-care. Because I believe that many
women, given the nature of our history and the roles we’ve been told to adopt,
have been given the short-end of the stick. We have learned unconsciously to
accept treatment of being seen as less than, invisible or incapable, as well as
expected to be the all-nurturing “Mother Marys” of the world. Many of us have
not been conditioned to care for ourselves, because it is seen as selfish, so we’ve
made our lives all about others. But it
ends up leading us to burnout and toxic resentment, wondering why people aren’t
supporting us the way we support them. We have not set our limit or put our
foot down in raising our standards in what we deserve.
So I invite all those women who are wanting to grow in
self-respect while feel, release and laugh at their past and struggles to come to my upcoming Open Your Heart Retreat Weekend for Women
at Thirteen Moons on July 22-24th.
We will be doing sacred ceremony and sharing circles, embodying and
releasing past emotional patterns that are blocking the flow of love and
wellness in our lives, connecting with the healing energies of the Earth, and
getting pampered with mini-spa treatments and detoxing food with Louise’s love.
There will also be alone time for journaling, resting and reflecting.
I know that many women have a hard time saying “no” and
allowing themselves to take time out of their busy schedule, preferring to put
money towards friends, family or things that seem more important. But what if investing in yourself would
actually do wonders to have a more satisfying and enriching life, where you can
learn how to see clearly and articulate what you want and need, rather than
what others are trying to pull from you? Or there are blind spots from your
past and family of origin that are making you pick all the wrong people and
circumstances that are adding to your suffering? If you are ready to take just
2 days and 2 nights for yourself at this upcoming retreat, which has been named
one of the best women’s retreats in the Toronto-area, please contact me at heather@blossomingheart.ca or call
226-500-7321.
Space is limited to 7 people, so if you are interested, it’s
best to contact me right away. For more
info about the retreat, please visit:
If you have any questions, or you’d like to get to know me a
bit better, please book a free Sharing Our Hearts session to see if we’re a
right fit.
I really want to have a weekend of relaxing, re-centering
and expanding your understanding of what you deserve in love, life and
relationships.
Heather Embree is a
professionally trained medium, energy healing practitioner and spiritual
teacher. Over the past 6 years, she has helped over 1,000 clients
worldwide with her one-on-one sessions and group workshops. Through her own
personal healing journey from childhood abandonment and neglect, she has the
unique ability to offer support, strength and insight into what is blocking
each of us from giving and receiving love and trust. She studied under a
self-taught First Nations Healer for 1.5 years, and learned about the teachings
of the Sun Bear Medicine Wheel. She also learned how to energetically connect
with others for soul healing and has formed an understanding of Spirit's
ability to transform lives. She is a trained Family Constellations
facilitator, and has had profound healing experiences with clients, taking them
to depths of healing not normally experienced in other sessions. She has
had 5 near death experiences, was raised in a family of clairvoyants and
believers in the Other Side, and has had numerous spiritual experiences that
have helped her grow into greater and greater confidence of the world beyond
physical death. She loves supporting the women's spiritual path,
reclaiming our gifts, truths and sense of personal happiness to create a more loving
and equal world.
