I never thought it would happen to me. But it has. I proposed to my love partner, Ted Warren, on March 18th. It just came out of my heart, something that has been sitting inside of me for a couple of months. My thinking mind was saying, "oh, it's too soon" or "don't get trapped" or "why bother getting married". But the heart had other plans.
What I love the most about Ted is he is a really talented drummer and has made his livelihood in connection to his passion (people keep telling me he is one of the best jazz drummers in Canada), he loves animals, he's an empath, he totally accepts me for who I am, he is not afraid to show he loves me and he listens to my heart and needs. And we can stay up all night laughing, talking and who knows what else (wink).
I have never been married before, though I had 4 proposals from previous partners which I turned down for various reasons. I had also been the one who wanted a deeper commitment while 2 previous partners didn't. So I never thought I'd ever getting married and I was totally fine with that.
I worked in a bridal store for 2 years when I was a teenager and I saw the madness of the bridal industry and all of it's money-making schemes around this event that is supposed to be filled with love, intimacy and connection rather than fantasy and delusions. Of the times I worked there, out of all the people I served, I would say that two couples I met were truly meant to get married because they genuinely loved each other and weren't doing it for the family or socialized ideals. It was coming from the heart.
So the prospect for me to "get married" caught me off guard, and it was surprising to me that I would even go down this road. But Spirit had other plans.
He responded with a quick "uh, yes, yes, yes." Phew...thankfully! And he even said he never thought he'd ever get married again. But there was something about both of us seeing each other getting older and the strong friendship and similarities between us that made us both realize we'd want to live our days and nights with each other. I even had a dream when we first got together that showed me I found my "Anam Cara" -- which is considered to be a soul mate according to an Irish Wisdom text.
As the days have been moving forward, I'm learning about the heart-centred teachings of being engaged and getting married. Such as, the word "fiance" means "trust", so it's the person you are trusting with your heart. And the word marriage means "the ceremony of lovers". Also, the whole notion of "being engaged" is really about being engaged with each other, or putting the attention on each other and interacting more deeply. And the concept of "tying the knot" is not so much about bondage and property as it is something that goes back to the days of handfasting -- a traditional ceremony in many indigenous cultures that signifies walking together and unification.
We haven't set a date for our ceremony, and we are approaching this process in an organic way where we are going to go to a therapist/counsellor to work out any mixed emotions, past baggage with relationships and setting new agreements for our lives so we can feel in alignment and connected.
When I did a Soul's Footprint Session around this, I discovered that getting married to someone I love is exactly something I'm needing to do to unknot the family and ancestral suffering that has been passed down the line. My mother and father progressed the system by getting divorced for their personal happiness, and now I'm to get married to progress the lineage as an act of choosing from the heart who I want to be with rather than doing it for all the wrong reasons.
I love the dark humour and wisdom in this old Irish Wedding Proposal:
An luífeása le mo mhuintirse?
Translation: Would you like to be buried with my people?
So I'm calling on his ancestors and my ancestors and my community to align our hearts, minds and bodies for the greater expression of love in the world.
I will keep you posted about our journey and plans, but any prayers and blessings are welcomed as we move forward in deeper commitment.
