What You Can Do When You Feel Out of Control

At a fundamental level, when you feel stressed it is because you feel out of control. There are so many circumstances in the outer world that can make you tense, anxious, depressed or even sick. Whether it be another person’s crisis, or political turmoil or traffic jams or environmental toxins – these are situations we can’t really control in the moment and can put us from a calm mood to an outright distressed state within minutes.

During these times, all you have control over is what you do with your body.  Your mind may go in a thousand directions, trying to find solutions or assess the circumstances. Your emotions might go through a roller coaster. Your spirit may want to jump out of you.

Your body is the one gateway to staying grounded and calm and centred and well in any circumstance. Throughout life this is the one thing you have control over – what you allow and around your body.

When you feel out of control, try connecting with your body in some way.  Here are a few examples:

1)      Take 5 deep breaths into and out of your belly

2)      Choose to sit and meditate

3)      Drink a glass of water

4)      Eat something healthy

5)      Exercise

6)      Leave your environment

7)      Go to an environment that you love

8)      Do some stretches

9)      Take a nap

10)   Have a shower (cold if you want to be invigorated; hot if you want to relax)

11)   Get some body work done such as a massage, reflexology or energy healing are good options

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For long-term wellness and calmness, it is best to take care of your body on a daily basis. Your needs are different than another person's wellness needs and lifestyle. It is important to know what your specific needs are to maintain a balanced body so you can handle whatever stressors come your way. 

If you want to make 2019 one of less stress, more ease and accomplishing goals that are truly good for you and your wellness, then book a free 30-minute “Get to the Root of the Problem” Breakthrough Session with me. I have a proven process that help you understand what you truly need to move through your barriers to happiness, inner balance and success.

You are the Gift

Our focus on buying material presents can overtake us at this time of year. We can get scattered and tired out because of the pressures to get it all in and make sure we don’t forget anyone.  The one person we often forget is ourselves.  The truth is the greatest gift you can give someone is you. Your presence of love, compassion, support, service, listening, calmness, laughter, and time.

Even if it’s just a thank you to the cashier in the checkout line, or a happy face on the napkin for the server, or spending time with a friend who doesn’t have family, you are offering the true spiritual gifts of the holidays that spreads true joy and love, bringing more joy and love back to you. That’s how karma and dharma truly work.

Though material objects and gifts can also be infused with a lot of love, meaning and connection, please don’t forget about your state of being and mind this season. Your presence is truly the best present.

Here are a few questions to ask yourself for this season:

1)      What spiritual trait do I want to embody this season? (e.g. generosity, love, peace, care, thoughtfulness, etc.)

2)      Spend 10 minutes in the morning meditating on that trait

3)      Consciously act out that trait with 3 people you meet in the day

4)      Reflect for 10 minutes in a journal of what happened that day as you showed up with that presence

See if you can take this exercise right up until New Year’s Day and see how it affects those around you.

It is possible to change the world, one intention at a time.

With blessings,

Heather

Give Cuz You Wanna

Each of us comes from different backgrounds and traditions around gift-giving.

Some people’s families do joke gifts, others do fancy dinners, others have a certain dollar value that’s expected, and others do nothing at all.  During this time, if you are different than your family’s values, it can bring up a whole host of self-worth issues as you end up feeling like you “fail” in the eyes of your family’s standards. And then it creates a sense of being excluded from the family.

I will give you an example of my own dynamic with our family’s tradition of Christmas.

Growing up, I was into recycling, second-hand things, meaningful gifts and handmade presents.  I just naturally knew the wastefulness of Christmas presents. I would use newspaper to wrap gifts, I would write stories and give them to family members, or I would make bath salts and put them into mason jars. Cute, right? Well, I was teased for it. They thought I was doing it because I didn’t have money. Which I didn’t have a lot of money but that wasn’t the reason. I was doing it because I put special thought into something they would like and I cared about the Earth and its creatures -- which seemed to be what the Spirit of Christmas was meant to be.

Over time, I began to dread Christmas because it made me feel like no matter what I did or gave, it was seen as “not good enough”, that I was somehow “too poor” to participate in Christmas exchanges. So I retracted from holiday invites and also from family functions because I didn’t make a certain amount of money.

Nowadays they would call what I did “upcycling” or “eco-gifting” or “crafting”. It is now an urban hipster thing to make your own bath bombs, or to personalize gifts with a handwritten note, and to wrap everything in hemp cloth or newspapers.  I’d like to say that the world is catching up to my trendsetting ways (wink!).

Throughout my work, I’ve learned about the powerful force of belonging. Therapists, abuse counsellors and addictions counsellors have understood this concept deeply. The need to belong is a fundamental desire and need – so much so that people will sacrifice their own safety, happiness and well-being in order to fit in. 

So many of us do this (myself included) during this holiday time – putting ourselves into debt just to participate in the greater collective pressure to give despite our limits.

So what is the solution?

In order to stay balanced, a key part is staying in our own integrity and value system. Otherwise stress kicks in.

Here’s a simple exercise to help you be true to yourself during this time of gift-giving:

1)      Write down three things your family expects of you with gift-giving – just so you are aware of their expectations and pressure.

2)      Write down three values you have with giving. Such as: eco-friendly, elegant, meaningful, delicious, funny, spiritual, etc.

3)       Then write down a list of the people you WANT to give to, and another list of people you NEED to give to – just so you can really identify how much heart energy you should put into each person. 

4)      You want to put more of your energy, time, money and focus for the list of people you want to give to. These are the people you love. Beside their names, write one word of how you would describe them, then write three things you think they are interested in or a shared memory.  Then using your 3 values you wrote above, brainstorm 4 or 5 ideas of what to get them within your budget.

5)      For the people you NEED to give to, buy or make items on a mass scale that fits into 2 out of 3 of your value system. For example, if your values for gift-giving are funny, eco-friendly and heart-felt, then you might want to get or make in bulk something like snowmen dryerballs or heart-shaped bath bombs.  This saves you time because it’s bulk, it’s in your value system, it’s unique to you and people will get a gift within your means.

I’d love to hear how this goes for you and what ideas you come up with!  Happy gift-giving from your heart!

ox,

Heather

www.BlossomingHeart.ca

Grow Into Who You Are Meant to Be