Connecting with Those on the Other Side

This is that time of year when many cultures are celebrating the realm of the dead – the ancestors. In our Western world, it pops up as ghoulish alter-egos in Hallowe’en costumes. But in most places it is a day of reverence for those who came before us.   Some think this is simply an exercise that soothes the human psyche’s relationship with its mortality.  The spiritualists among us see it as a direct relationship with the people and animals who touched our hearts, and a chance to balance out old karma, past hurts and suffering, and to find a sense of joy.  

 

I have been doing mediumship professionally for 4 years and working as a Family Constellations Facilitator for 6 years now. Mediumship is being the in-between person between those who have passed on and those who are living.  Family Constellations is a shamanic ceremony that honours the ancestors and invites us to look at intergenerational challenges.  I am constantly amazed through both types of work at the amount of wisdom, insight and support the ones who have passed on to the Other Side have for us.  When they show up in our lives and our doors, they come with a message or a way to be able to set the scales right for us – they do not intend to haunt or harm us.  

In First Nations Ceremonies, from my experience, there is an understanding that the ancestors walk among us – they are simply in another dimension living out another reality and they are there to help us guide our lives so we are in right livelihood and walking an honourable path.  They can see things more clearly than we can, and when we connect and relate with them, our lives become much easier. 

As a medium, I sense what is truly within the heart of those who have crossed over, even if they couldn’t express it themselves when they were walking on the earth. The amount of insight and truth that is shared when they communicate with those of us who are living is invaluable. It can elevate our perspective and allow us to release them to continue on their soul journey. 

This happened to me with a medium I went to.  She kept saying that my father was in Spirit and he admitted to being one of the biggest liars.  She explained that he had OCD issues, as well.  The way she explained it, it sounded like my biological father but he was still living. Then I realized she was speaking about my step-father – it threw me off because I always saw him as my mother’s husband, not a father figure even though I grew up with him.  Then the pieces were put together. The deception and abuse I saw growing up were validated. And I also got to see him through a compassionate lens – that he was someone who was struggling with OCD and severe anxiety. All the ways he impacted my life, sense of self and heart were now becoming trivial because truth was spoken and my confusion and feeling of victimhood had lifted. I could move forward and so could he.

This is one example of many that helped me come to greater peace and clarity through relating with those on the Other Side.   

If we can understand that love is the glue between this world and the next, then we may not be so fearful about relating with those who have passed into Spirit. It becomes a source of support and wisdom for us in this complicated journey of life.

If you would like to connect with your ancestors or those who have passed on, consider booking a Soul Session with me at Blossoming Heart Divine Arts at: www.blossomingheart.ca

May this Samhain, Hallow’s Eve, Day of the Dead, Diwali, etc, bring you many blessings….

Easing the Emotions

At the full moon, emotions can be high and intense. It can take us out of balance or make us the target of someone else’s emotional baggage.  On the spiritual path it can be one of the most difficult things to manage, which is why things like meditation, yoga, therapy and other tools are necessary so we don’t generate more suffering for ourselves or others. 

Often times, we will numb the emotions with things like alcohol, pharmaceutical or recreational drugs, caffeine, sugar (which is apparently more addictive than heroin!), food, or distractions like T.V. or work.  But they eventually catch up to us, whether through physical illness, moodiness or pushing people away from us.  If we don’t feel our feelings, then our feelings will end up controlling us and we will take it out on those who are closest to us.

But if we actually learn to speak to our emotions, we can find out a lot of what is going on for us. They can guide us in so many ways.  Here are some examples of the gifts of our emotions, according to the book: The Language of Emotions by Karla McLaren. Some may seem obvious and others not. But they are the key to freeing ourselves and our souls in order to live more whole and well lives.

Anger: Honor, Conviction, Proper Boundaries, Protection of yourself and others, Healthy Detachment

Hatred: Intense Awareness, Piercing vision, Sudden evolution, Shadow Work

Guilt/Shame: Atonement, Integrity, Self-respect, Behavioral change

Jealousy and Envy:  Fairness, Commitment, Security, Connection, Loyalty

Panic/Terror: Sudden Energy, Fixed attention, Absolute stillness, Healing from trauma

Fear: Intuition, Focus, Clarity, Attentiveness, Readiness, Vigor

Sadness: Release, Fluidity, Grounding, Relaxation, Revitalization

There are alternative approaches to dealing with emotions, as well. Aromatherapy, Prayer, Diet changes, Emotional Freedom Technique, Energy healing and expressive art therapy are just a few options out there.

So you know you’re not alone, I share with you my own personal experience with difficult emotions.

In the past year and a bit, I’ve been struggling with extreme anxiety. I had never had anything like it before. I figured it was perhaps because of grieving a relationship I was in, living on my own for the first time in years, leftover residue from many changes in my life, or perhaps a healing effect from a period of long-term stress.  But I just couldn’t shake it. It wasn’t even until a few months ago could I even name that this was even anxiety.

I was invited to a sweat lodge which I always get a lot of healing and insight from, and I hadn’t done one in about a year.  I felt very guided by Spirit and the Earth to attend. I was of the few women who arrived early to help pick the cedar and lay it on the ground of the lodge. Feeling so connected to the preparation of the space and putting my love into it was a gift in and of itself. I was able to feel grounded already.  When we went in and the facilitator started the ceremony in the dark space with the hot grandfather stones releasing their wisdom with the steam coming from them, I put a prayer into the lodge asking for more clarity behind this perpetual anxiety.  Immediately I received the insight – I have PTSD.  I was so surprised to see it this way, yet it made so much sense. 

This awareness left me speechless, wondering “now what do I do with that?”  Yet I was lighter, because now I knew the root of the issue.  I walked out of the sweat lodge with a greater sense of my deepest issues and could see all the threads and connections behind this.  

Now, PTSD doesn’t only affect the War Vets and War Survivors. It affects anyone who has had a life-threatening or safety threatening experience.  It can happen at the end of a high-conflict relationship. It can get triggered by a word or phrase someone says that reminds you of a childhood experience. In fact, most people carry a type of PTSD just from the fact of being young at one point and feeling very small and vulnerable. Little kids see the world with a sense of terror and wonder, trying to navigate it all.  Depending on one’s upbringing and the parental figures around them, it can lead to PTSD symptoms and stop a person from growing into a fully capable, mature and creative person.

Now, that’s the ideal. But the reality is that what’s overwhelming for one person is considered to be a challenge that another person willingly takes on. Every one of us has something we are afraid of and thus avoiding in our lives which is stopping us from meeting our potential. 

For example, one of my first professional jobs turned into a really traumatic experience. The boss turned out to be a bully and kept picking on me because I was the youngest one in the office. I felt alone, unsupported and confused, believing I was incompetent at what I did.  I found out a few years later that she was an alcoholic who was driving the organization into the ground with liquid lunches.  And I had a previous co-worker admit at how horrible she felt in witnessing how I was being treated and didn’t know how to speak up.  Amazing, eh?  And so typical of abusive dynamics.  But the lingering feeling of incompetence has followed me for years, where I felt like an inadequate employee who would constantly fail.   Running my own business has truly helped me overcome this illusion and brought me back into the driver’s seat of my own life.

Through my own self-awareness journey, I’ve been able to examine and look at deeply held beliefs or experiences that have contributed to my low self-esteem. I truly believe that every piece of suffering comes from a place of not feeling good enough, safe enough or lovable enough.  When we can break out of this, then we can start actually living a more relaxed and connected life that flows with greater ease or at least a sense of self-control.  But it requires some time to examine, contemplate and process what the barrier is in order to overcome it.  

This is what I offer in my soul sessions, where we use various tools to uncover what has been hiding your light and limiting experiences.  Through a combination of a spiritual reading, self-inquiry techniques, coaching, energy healing, and body intuition, we work together towards expanding your sense of self and who you want to show up to be in the world.

If this interests you, I encourage you to click here to booka FREE Sharing Our Hearts Session to see if we are a right fit to work together. Because when you can find your truth, you can set your heart at ease and put your life into motion.