I've nearly bottomed out many times in my life. Times where I've had to face life or death circumstances, where the only thing I had left was prayer, genuine prayer, the kind of prayer that makes you want to negotiate everything with the divine. And I'm still here, standing, faithful and in a place that continues to serve. Because it worked.
Now I'm not talking about rote prayers from a sacred book. Though these can help to remind us of the nature of the divine, they are not necessarily personal or intimate to what's going on in our hearts and what we need in our lives. I'm talking about the prayers that can happen in moments, the kind that can be there when you sing for comfort or joy, the prayers that are said out loud to a friend who needs compassion. Real, everyday life words that evoke a higher presence of love and compassion.
I almost had the Pacific Ocean engulf me and pull me out to it. While I was tumbling underwater, trying to hold a place of peace within, I sent a prayer to the divine to get me out of this alive. And somehow, I didn't get pulled into the undertow, bang my head on a rock or get bulldozed by another wave. I bounced to the top, feet able to touch the sand and walked out -- indeed stunned -- to my loved on on the beach.
Another time, prayer worked when I was a kid living in Jamaica for 3 years and I so desperately wanted to go back home to Canada where my grandparents were. I even have my deep desire and call to God marked in my journal when I was that age. Literally, three days later, I was on a plane trip to Canada and never to return to live in Jamaica again.
I also sent another prayer when I was in a revolutionary crisis in Mexico and I needed to take the last bus out of there by myself to go to Mexico City so I could catch a plane hope. I prayed to have protection, a kind person to sit beside. Wouldn't you know, I sat beside a man who gave me his business card which said "Spirit Guide" and his main purpose, he felt, was to go and do spiritual healing for people who were sick. No kidding. I can't make this up!
My most recent prayer had to do with finding a home. My partner and I had decided to live separately but still have a relationship together. We are both creative spiritual types and found living together totally overwhelming with all of the energies we brought in our daily lives. So needing to live somewhere else within 8 weeks' time, I had a pressure to find a place that could be my sanctuary. I made an altar, sent a prayer to Hestia -- the Goddess of Home and Hearth -- made a list of what I was looking for and....voila! I got every single item on the list, include the exact amount of rent I was willing and able to pay. And I love my home and cherish it so much. The landlady has actually asked me, or perhaps its Hestia working through her, to do energy clearing in the home so it feels good -- one of my joys and specialties. Sooooo....I'm here to say that prayer, when done with a sincere heart, is so powerful.
It doesn't mean that it always works. Of course, I've prayed for world peace, the end of abusive relationships for friends and families, for winning the jackpot...you know, the usual. And sadly those prayers don't seem to be answered. However, it doesn't mean they aren't heard. I've had to learn there is a higher wisdom, there is free will of people being jerks, there is some kind of divine order that needs humans to wake up even if it's through their suffering, and that I'm not meant to just win a million bucks because if I did I just might take off somewhere and hide on an island and not make a contribution to the world, cause I do have a lazy gene in me that likes to isolate myself and daydream -- the curse of being a clairvoyant, spiritual type.
So please, just because religion has sullied the notion of prayer, doesn't mean the universe isn't listening. It can soothe your heart, move mountains in ways you may never dream of, solidify commitments you make to yourself and others and gives you a sense of something deeper and greater moving in the world.
with all my heart to yours,
Heather Embree
www.blossomingheart.ca
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