You are Loveable

What many don’t know about me is I have had a life-long journey with having to overcome feelings of self-hate and self-destruction.  It has come from various childhood experiences of being abandoned, carrying shame as a child of divorce so not having the grounding of family, and put in unsafe and life-threatening situations which made me feel disposable.  What kept me going were various role models in life, spiritual teachings and believing in my heart that I do matter. My own personal healing journey within has made me feel compassion for myself and so compassion for others in a way that not many are able to. 

I get suicidal depression, I get heartache, I get feeling lost and full of self-doubt, I get feeling alone and isolated. I get feeling guilty and ashamed of myself. I’ve been there. And I know every other person has, too, in one way or another.

One of the beautiful gifts of opening up to a spiritual path and healing, is the way of seeing and the mystical experiences that happen.

I have had various divine messages and interventions that have come to me in times of need.  One came loud and clear while I was on the plane to Regina, Saskatchewan.  In meditation, I was asking Spirit what it is that I need to know.  The message came back: “You are Loveable.”  I nearly burst into tears. It healed my heart from the anxieties that I have been feeling from the world, and relationship conflicts within my family of origin.  Remembering that I am loveable aligned my heart yet again. I deserve to receive that truth and so do you.  Wherever you are, whatever has happened to you, however low you are feeling, please tune into the truth that you are loveable.

If you feel you need to heal your heart from hurt, loss or difficult relationships, please book a FREE Initial Heart-to-Heart Session. I would love to see you be released of the pain so you don’t carry the emotional weights of anger and resentment into your life. You deserve to fall in love with life again.

With hugs and healing,

Heather

P.S.  This message has also inspired me to write a book of the same title, to help those who have been through hell but still believe in love, to receive the blessings of divine messages and presence.  The words are flowing and I can’t wait to get it written and published in e-book format. I’ll keep you posted!

What Saskatchewan Has Taught Me

Right now I’m in Saskatchewan – a province in Canada that many think is boring and dull because it has a flat landscape.  For me, it’s anything but that. It has clean air, people are relaxed, there’s a simplicity to life and such open space that it is possible to have an open and creative mind. I am staying in downtown Regina right now, and have had a marvelous time. Yoga every day, meeting people at the local eco-cafes and walking in the sunshine, just like many others are. Life West of Ontario is unique and always leads to a breath of fresh air for me.  Though Saskatchewan has many social and economic problems, it has a richness beneath the surface – a sense of possibility and new horizons that allow the soul to open and fly into the sky. 

I feel generally happy here. It reminds me of what my home town of Guelph used to be before it was named one of the best places to life in Canada. Aside from the amazing win of the one and only Green Party seat in the province of Ontario that tells me there still are people who care about the environment, Guelph has become more modernized and Toronto-ized. It just isn’t the same.

I contemplated and dialogued with my groom-to-be, Ted, about the difference between Guelph and Regina in my outlook and state of mind. What became quickly apparent is that here I feel connected again – to the Earth, to people, to the outdoors, to the yoga studio. It seems there could be a consistency of community that Guelph used to have. People here seem to still trust each other and aren’t too busy to give a “hello” and share some stories.  Life is slower which means it can be more heart-felt and mindful. Now I get I’m on the vacationer’s high, but it got me thinking about the importance of community and connection. Without it, life feels lonely, depressing, meaningless and unsupportive. Yet the challenge is finding the right community – the one where there is compassion and understanding and wants you to come alive and express yourself in the way you’re meant to be.

Some find community through their workplaces, others through their art form of writing, music, theatre, etc. Others will find it through their illnesses or difficulties in support groups. And some will find it through interests like birding, yoga, or travelling. 

I’ve been in communities that don’t work for me at all. Communities of activists, farmers, or neighborhoods that I didn’t feel safe in. 

You could say I’ve been on the hunt for finding the right fit of community, yet what I’m discovering is that community shifts and changes depending on who I feel I am at the time, in my truest essence. When I identified as an artsy Torontonian, then I found other artsy Torontonians. When I identified as a spiritualist, I found other spiritualists. All were facets of who I am, in some way. But it has never been the full breadth of me. What I’m discovering is that I belong to various pockets of communities.

I am a writer, I’m a person who strives to live a spiritual and creative life, I’m a minimalist, I’m an entrepreneur, I’m an intuitive, I’m a compassionate person, I’m a woman, and I’m a healer.  I’m also a survivor of various experiences. All of those aspects of myself need support and need a community that works for me. My challenge is to find the communities that can meet most of my needs so my full self can blossom. 

For me to fulfill my community needs, I need to ask myself the following questions:

·   -Where am I and what do I need in my life right now? 
-Where am I going in my life? 
-What do I want to cultivate more of in my life?

For example, right now I’m a woman interested in feminine spirituality who wants to write a transformational book, do speaking events and help people tune into themselves.  I need support to help me write my book, learn how to present and book speaking events and how to make a successful venture serving clients I love.  I also need to be around others who want to grow spiritually and have a simple and well life.

Where I’m going is to book speaking events and workshops across the West, live according to my eco-values, and have a healthy body and mind.

I want to cultivate a simpler life of spirituality and well-being, develop my writing practice and skills, and learn more about how to make it as a speaker. 

So, given all of this, the kinds of communities that could support me are:

·         -Yoga & meditation community

·         -Community

·         -Toastmasters

·         -Women Writers’ Communities

·         -Entrepreneur Groups

Neat, eh?

So I invite you to do the same for your life.  Ask yourself the 3 questions:

·        - Where am I and what do I need in my life right now?

·        - Where do I want to go in my life?

·        - What do I want to cultivate more of in my life?

Then make a list of the communities you can connect to in-person and online.  Pick one of those communities that you can start putting your time and energy into and see what happens. You will be pleasantly surprised at what shows up in your life.

We all need community to flourish – that is what life is all about. Without it you go invisible and you get lost.  Make your roots happen in your life. And you will feel your heart expand in the world:)

Get Honest

Treat those who are good with goodness, and also treat those who are not good with goodness. Thus goodness is attained. Be honest to those who are honest, and be also honest to those who are not honest. Thus honesty is attained.

-Lao Tzu

Honesty—one of those wonderful traits we all hear about. Many of us strive for it. We end up telling the “truth” to others, not wanting to lie or be seen as a liar.  But how many times are we lying to ourselves in order to please others?

Getting honest is not easy. Often we just go along with others and our lives become routine. We don’t take that step back and say “hmmm….do I really like coffee? Or do I just do it because the world tells me I should?”.  These small ways that we accept what’s in front of us without question can actual damage our self-esteem and our health.  Then there are the big ways we lie to ourselves. We tell ourselves that the relationship we are in “isn’t that bad” or that our job “could be worse”.  When we lie to our hearts, we end up depleted in energy and even deceiving others or we get deceived. It just doesn’t work out well in the end, from my experience. 

Getting honest with ourselves requires a re-wiring of how we see and relate with the world. It takes work to really ask ourselves: “Do I like this? Do I agree with this? Is this what I want?”. That’s why I say that getting honest needs to start small before we work up to the bigger questions. 

A great practice, even for the next week is to pick one small thing a day you do and ask yourself one of the questions that applies: “Do I like this? Do I agree with this? Is this what I want?”  Now you may think you can’t do anything about doing dishes, for example. But if you get honest, you might be able to find solutions – perhaps you could just use one mug, one set of cutlery and one plate/bowl a day so you don’t have to do a ton of dishes. Or you could get a dishwasher. Or you could negotiate it with your family members or housemates.  My point is, if you got honest about the small things, you could find solutions to your challenges. Or at least just be honest that you don’t like it, even while you do it, so you are aware of your preferences.

After doing this daily practice for a work or two, then you might want to start getting honest about other areas of your life. The kind of work you do, activities you do with friends, etc.  This year I had to get honest that I really don’t like event organizing. I love facilitating, but not organizing the details. So I have now changed my offerings to workshops that others can host if they want me to come to them (click here if you want to be a host…wink wink).  

As your muscle builds, then you can get honest about the big questions. “Do I like my marriage?” “Do I like my career?” “How am I really feeling about my kids and being a parent.”  These are the taboo questions that most people avoid because it means change. The cost of not getting honest is huge, though. Affairs, getting laid off unexpectedly then feeling resentful, missing out on difficult conversations with your children that could lead to more authentic relating, etc. 

The next level is tuning in at all times with your emotions and owning them. Inquiring into what they are trying to tell you and to act from that place. It’s not easy to do but it is so important for balance and well-being.

The cost of lying to ourselves also means we lose our centre of peace and our soul. We end up with an empty experience of life rather than a satisfied and joy-filled experience.  Though there may be a short-term pay-off there are long-term consequences.

If you would like to grow in more emotional awareness and heart-centred living so you can move from a feeling drained and dissatisfied to nourished and energized, book a FREE Initial “Heart-to-Heart” Session to explore if I can support you.