Blossoming Heart Guidance with Heather

Much of the spiritual journey is about finding your true self. It’s the part of us that always existed, without the social programming and or beliefs that have come from trauma. I learned a lot about this through starting an Adult Children of Alcoholics and Dysfunctional Families (ACoA) Support Group, and also through my previous relationship with someone who focused on this type of work through spiritual awakening. 

The quest for the true self is timeless and one that incorporates many facets.  It can be seen through the gateways of your preferences, what inspires you and what moves you at the core.  It can also be shaped by some of your experiences that have hurt your heart, but also what has informed what you care about.  Personal expression and being around others of like-heart is so important in order to keep nurturing this part of you. In the ACoA program, that would say your true self is your inner child.

I’ve done a ton of personal growth and healing work, and it has all been beneficial of uncovering layers and layers of masks, old beliefs and what motivates me.  I thought I had it all covered, until the other day.  That was the day when I reached into my fiance’s junk box and found a button in a little plastic box. When I looked at it, I nearly cried.  It was me. All me. A simple little button. But this button reflected that little girl in me that was always there. It is a cute, funky, weird and not-perfectly-designed button.  Check it out below. 

You see, I remembered a part of me I had forgotten.  This child self who was the funky, live it big, love it big, non-gendered, smart girl.  My sister and my mother, bless them, were the princess types. They loved baking and crafting and decorating and doing their hair, and all that stuff.  Which is fine. That’s them. But because they were bigger than me, they had a bigger influence over me. I was the outcast in the family. The misfit.  The one that just wore her heart on her sleeve and loved people, without needing to be something I wasn’t. I didn’t want pretty, or fancy, or perfect. I just wanted to be ME. 

All this came flooding back to me in this button. My inner child really is my true self.  She has been with me the whole time. In was in my love of funk music. Big rainbow lollipops. Living in Kensington Market in Toronto. Do-it-yourself zines.  The children’s book I wrote. She’s been with me the whole time. Why didn’t I really get it before? Because I took her for granted.

So now, the work is integrating her in my life. In my home. The work I do.  The things I love. Pure, funky, wild, smart and just full of heart. That’s me. 

So, who are you?