Ahhh! Relationships!

Relationships are meant to bring us closer to love.  But how many of us have been completely shattered by conflicts in relationships because of miscommunication, dysfunctional behaviour, childhood issues or workplace dynamics.  No one is perfect in consciously relating with others, and dear me, I’ve made my own mistakes with projecting anger, frustration and difficulty with others.  So I’m by no means trying to say I’ve mastered it. But I strive. 

Often times we cannot choose the relationships we come into contact with, whether that be with perfect strangers on the street, or co-workers, or in-laws that automatically become family members we have to eat holiday dinner with.  Yet we know on a deep level that we are in a weird web of interpersonal relating, whether we like it or not, and our presence, words and even absence, has an impact on others.  It is through the good and the bad relationships that grow in lessons around wisdom, self-awareness, discernment and the difference between true love and toxic love. 

An important understanding that has helped me through life, has been that every person is heartbroken at some level.  Even the successful, beautiful and privileged person.  We all suffer from a separation from the source of divine love, and there is a loneliness that gets acted out in the world.  Some will lean towards addictions. Others with power-mongering. And others through over-achieving.  Anything to feel like one matters or one wants to escape from the pain.  Having this view, makes my heart soften with compassion for all of the ways we create our own suffering and to see that which scares us through more loving eyes.  Yet, part of the spiritual path is to not be naive about others thus becoming an unconditionally loving oozing doormat.  You are meant to experience life with health, strength, feeling loved and safe within, and to bring your natural talents to the world. Anyone who is not treating themselves, you or others in an honouring way is worthy of learning challenging lessons, including not being coddled in your womb of eternal sympathy.  We are each here to teach each other about respect and fundamental equality.  When that is transgressed or betrayed, it is a wake up call for each of us to grow up and choose to stand in life, love and healthy relating. 

But this is not easy for those who have a compassionate bent and feel guilty for taking a stand or for having to end a relationship. I’ve seen so many people come into my healing room riddled with self-doubt and self-blame, unable to see clearly that they were in an abusive dynamic or that the other person was not able to receive love.  And I can see this because I, too, am someone who has had to learn the messy lessons of what true compassion and love is, as opposed to disempowering and dishonouring dynamics that leave you wounded and debilitated.  Love does not ask you to hurt yourself in order to prove you care.  It simply asks you to be a presence of love, kindness and offer assistance when you can.  

Unlearning unhealthy relationship habits and knowing what your basic rights are, is one of the greatest challenges in life, self-love and interdependence.  I wrote this list of tips to help guide others towards new approaches.

Here are 9 rules to live by for inviting in healthier relationships:

1)  Remember your talents, dreams, goals and passions and never let them go for anybody

2)   If someone puts you down in any way – for your spiritual path, your body, your inabilities or anything else -- let them know how it felt. It is important to give that person the benefit of the doubt. If they continue to do this, then consider whether the relationship is worth staying in.

3)   Write down a list of 5 “non-compromisables” – that is, these are values or things you just absolutely won’t budge on.  For example, I refuse to be in a relationship with someone who does recreational drugs.  No excuses or justifications.  I just won’t allow it.

4)   Schedule alone time for yourself to explore things that are important to you or bring you enjoyment.  Being able to stay in the company of yourself ensures that you stay centred in what is right or true for you, making you less vulnerable to losing yourself in another person.  

5)   Examine if you have a critical voice inside of you and how you may be perceiving yourself and others.  Make friends with this voice and see if you can find out what it’s trying to protect you from.  Often times we will attract others who carry a similar critical voice, blocking us from having loving relationships.  We surround ourselves with this because, at the root, we have a fear of intimacy.

6)   Write down 5 negatives you tell yourself and see where those beliefs came from.  How are they still running the show?  What are new ways of seeing yourself that shifts these beliefs?

7)   Do you let others stomp all over you? Or take advantage of your kindess? Perhaps you suffer from being too nice to those who have no ability to receive kindness and understanding.  Relationships are 2-way and there is nothing uplifting or loving by over-giving to someone who has no concept of receiving love.  Always be kind, but choose who to pour your energy into and who to give just a dabbling to.  

8)  How do you feel about love? What’s your experience with it? Has it been infatuation? Or confusion? Or heartache? Or unrequited? Or unavailable?  Love is the essence of the Universe, but we often block it by a warped relationship we have with Love itself.  See how you are dancing with love and notice who you’re dancing with because of it.  Learning a new tune, can bring you those who dance to a more uplifting beat.

9)   Send appreciation to those who really matter to you in the form of letters, gifts, encouragement or understanding.  And let go trying to get the attention of people who won’t give you the time of day.  What we see as rejection can actually be a blessing of spiritual protection.  Let go trying to be loved by everybody.

If you feel entangled in bizarre dynamics and are having a hard time self-strengthening, you may want to consider booking a FREE InitialLearn to Love Yourself session, so you can gain the wisdom and abilities to become more assertive, clear and confident in your personal relationships so you can thrive instead of just survive.  

Click here to book your session.

10 Signs that You are Still Suffering from a Broken-Heart

1. You can’t stop thinking about the person and how you could have changed the relationship or the situation

2. You’re not feeling motivated to do anything else with your time – everything seems pointless or at least secondary 

3.  When you hear a song that you shared together, you feel like that person is right there with you. 

4. You get bouts of anger and may take it out on those around you in small or large ways 

5. You’re continually finding ways to make that person wrong so you can justify why it had to end


6. You’re comparing your current love interests to that person – either in a positive or negative way  

7. You’ve taken an over-interest or under-interest in your appearance 

8. You wonder if your past-times are really something close to your heart or just a way of staying energetically connected to that person 

9. Your friends or family are sick and tired of hearing about this person


10. You embody or despise their gestures, sayings, and outlook in life -- where it borders a bit on an obsession.

What is this whole thing about Intuitives, anyways?

Many people go to see massage therapists, psychotherapists, naturopaths or acupuncturists as alternatives for releasing pain or disease. These are all wonderful modalities and are extremely beneficial for the well-being of the client.  But many are unsure about what to expect or the reason it would be beneficial to go to an Intuitive Energy Healing Practitioner.  And some people who are curious are swayed by friends or family who think it’s a bunch of crock.  So what’s all the big fuss about this craze of intuitive energy healing? It seems like everyone and their dog is calling themselves an intuitive nowadays.  But what does that mean?  And how can I trust that the person is legit?  

Intuition is something that every person has, whether that be a sense of someone or a situation, or the ability to perceive an outcome in advance.  It is about being in a different place of “knowing” that is beyond book knowledge and logic – it responds to the cycles of life, love, energy and relationship dynamics.   Intuition literally is about being “in tune” with a different frequency of energy, much as you tune in a radio to the right station. It comes from the understanding that every object, person, organization, life form and body has a consciousness, wisdom and purpose to it, and has information that it wants to share with us if we would only listen more deeply.  This understanding requires stepping outside of the box of how we’ve been taught to perceive reality and have a larger frame of reference about the interplay of everything that has been created in the world.

Every person who is willing to walk the path of an intuitive is continuously challenged to break through the ego barrier of judgments, personal perceptions and feelings of past hurts in order to be truly in service of others.  An immature intuitive is usually like a kid trying out a new toy and may project a whole lot of her own “stuff” onto another person and be in a place of arrogance or “all knowing”, saying the information in an insensitive way, believing she’s right. The kind of person that says while you’re at your desk working, “well, you know, you’ve got to talk to your husband because he’s about to have an affair and you have to set him straight.” Her presence and manner is domineering and rings of her own issues of a past partner who may have betrayed her and she’s putting all this fear onto you.  When she could actually be picking up on a subtler dynamic where your partner is going through some self-doubt about the relationship and it would be great if you had time to sit down and chat.  We all have to start somewhere, but they are not ready to actually make a living of it and need to learn aspects of intuitive ethics, professionalism and when to turn the gift on and off.  

A mature intuitive is someone who you would want to entrust or hire because they have done their personal growth and healing, and continue to do so. They approach the work with a mind of respect and humility and only wait for you to ask, book an appointment or ask you permission in advance.  She has learned to listen on a deep level instead of through the mind chatter of what you want to hear or what she perceives as good or bad.  She’s got a calm, yet spirited demeanor and creates a peaceful container for the session.

So why would you hire an intuitive? What can he or she help you with? 

An intuitive healing or reading can provide you with the experience of going deeper into yourself and seeing your whole life experiences in the context of wisdom, growth and sacredness as a divine being in this world. The intuitive will help you develop greater awareness about what is behind your suffering so you can master your life, energy, and the dynamics happening, giving you a sense of personal power, peace, balance and direction.  You will discover the thoughts, actions, and behaviours that are and are not serving you in the walk of life. You will be seen, heard and felt on a level beyond the conscious mind, which brings more feelings of being supported in becoming the person you are meant to be, rather than what everyone else wants you to be.  In this simple act, ailments can start to dissipate, emotional and mental turmoil eases up and you see yourself and your choices in a whole new way. Your body relaxes because it is feeling understood.  Your consciousness and connection to life expands.  What could take you years to find the root of in traditional therapy, can be uplifted for your self-examination in one session.  Then you really can know what has been laying underneath the surface of your difficulties then process it in your therapy session or with your alternative health practitioner. 

The key is to find the intuitive practitioner that is right for you, because ever person comes with their own unique approach and gifts.  If you feel you can open up, be understood, and feel safe when you speak with the person, then you will know it is a right fit.  That is why I offer initial free sessions so I can be sure that I can align with the other person’s energy field and they can assess if they like who I am and can trust opening up with me.

As with any service or relationship in life, it is important that you assess what resonates and holds meaning for you, because even though the intuitive can access this information, it doesn’t mean the person knows exactly what it means or how it applies to you.  It is important that you use those tidbits to add to your suitcase of life in your growth in insight, perspective, being loved and feeling more peace, well-being & self-actualization in your life.

How Energy Medicine Supports Emotional Healing

Often times we go through really difficult emotions – they can spring from memories of past hurt, loss of a friend, an argument with a co-worker, anxiety about the future, and so many other experiences.  These thoughts and feelings can be repeated in our minds over and over again, creating energy patterns within our body that can lead to muscle tension or even disease, as in the case of chronic emotional pain that exists within the subconscious mind from childhood or past life wounds. 

Talk therapy is an approach that many take to ease the emotions in order to bring them to light and access one’s true feelings and inner wisdom.  In the counsellor’s chair, one can cry and express anger, form a new understanding of the situation and access more inner strength for life.  The energy gets uprooted, yet there can still be a denseness that lingers for days, which can be debilitating for some and creates disturbances in other areas of life.  

But one does not need to suffer this way.  Energy medicine, like Reiki, offers a gentle approach to smooth out the rough edges that come with emotionally intense times in life.  It compliments well with traditional therapy, and is helpful when someone is going through a healing journey, when they are accessing past trauma or undertaking a massive personal transformation.  Yes, growth and letting go of the past is a stressful process, even though it is moving the person towards greater wellness.  It is not necessary to make it more difficult or burdensome than it needs to be.

Using the movement of hands, prayers of love and healing, and the power of quantum physics, which collapses space and time and understands the interconnectedness of everything in the Universe, Energy Medicine provides an opportunity for miracles to happen.  Like a magnet or a broom, Energy Medicine repels, releases and brushes away that which has been difficult or dense from the past or present, allowing a person to let go of a persistent pattern that gets locked in the energy field or aura so that he or she does not need to attract similar suffering or experiences again.  The client does not need to tell the whole story of the pain, in fact the story is what can keep that energy in place. Instead, the client lays down on the healing table and relaxes, allowing for the Wisdom of the Divine Energy to bring up the blockages and have them released from the energy field with ease.  

The proof is in the pudding, as they say, and there is no need to understand fully how it happens, other than the knowing that our thoughts and feelings create our physical reality and the power of attraction can bring us happiness or disease, depending on what we are processing.  When the client gets up from the table, they often say that they feel lighter, clearer, more peaceful and less agitated.  What used to bother the person no longer seems to have the same grip.  Although all of the emotions may not be cleared out, because healing is an ongoing journey of purifying the heart and mind, the client tends to find that they are able to manage better in their lives and go to a deeper level of themselves with greater clarity, having more energy to live life and make the changes that are required for greater well-being.  

It doesn’t mean it’s all roses, either.  There can be a healing reaction or even a soul crisis because the energy has shifted into a whole new realm and the person’s identity or relationship to the suffering is gone.  It’s like a purification of one’s consciousness, and it can impact the person’s physical body with detox symptoms such as needing to sleep deeply or being thirsty or having old physical pain resurface.  In holistic medicine this is considered to be a good thing as it is leading you towards greater integration of you mind, body and spirit. 

So instead of living with a heavy heart, feeling down for no reason, or staying in a rut while hiding under your covers, consider booking an Energy Healing session with a local practitioner. It may be the very thing that brings the spring back into your step…

Heather Embree is an Intuitive Healing Practitioner and Reiki Master in Guelph, ON who focuses on the divine empowerment of women so they can become the Goddesses of their lives. To find out more information about her and her services, visit: www.BlossomingHeart.ca

Your Blossoming Life in 2014

We have just come through the holiday season, some of us more in tact than others. What may have come up for some of you is the feeling of being overwhelmed, doing things for others without the Christmas spirit in your heart, and realizing that another year has gone by and you're still not living or creating the life you wanted.

This came up for me, at least. And I know I'm not alone. This year something powerful hit me in my awareness. That I'm not surrounded by people I actually like.  That is, those who I totally gel with, feel inspired by and totally and utterly respect. I've been so busy with personal growth, becoming and transforming myself while working with others, that I had my head buried in the sand.  Until this Christmas.

I realized that family is precarious and each of us so different in how we're choosing to live our lives.  My fulfillment, goals and soul desires will never fully be understood by my family members. And nor should they be, for they were merely the launching point of my existence.

New Year's is the perfect opportunity to not just set new resolutions but to let go of what is not serving and to totally reinvent how you are doing this so you can actually feel content and on-track with yourself by the end of next year.  So I decided to offer a quick exercise to help you contemplate who you are, where you are and where you want to grow.  It is best to write this in a journal, so you can review it throughout the year.

Step 1:  Reflect on the past year. What did you like? What didn't you like? What were your greatest challenges? Your victories?  What did you take away and learn the most from the year.

Step 2: What is currently missing in your life or you wish you had more of?  It's okay to appear ungrateful at this point...it's just to get you in touch with your true heart.  What actions can you take to improve your situation or state of mind?

Step 3:   What is your overall mantra or affirmation for the year?  A mantra is like a motto.  Such as "In 2014, I will invite more loving people into my life. Write it down at the top of a fresh page and post it where you need to see it.


Step 4:  Write down your top 3 priorities for 2014 for your personal life and then 3 priorities for your professional/public life.  These are the major musts for the upcoming year.  Make sure they come from your heart and soul, for your overall well-being and for that of others.  The Universe supports anything that is life- and love-giving.

Step 5: Breakdown your priorities into 3 goals for each month for both your professional and personal life.  If you can't get set these for the whole year, at least write them down for the first 2 months and keep setting them as the year progresses.

Step 6: Share your intentions with some you love and trust so they can help you be accountable to yourself.


If you feel that you need the support of someone who is non-judgmental and wants to see the best of you come out in 2014, I would love to be your mentor through the Learn to Love Yourself: A Goddess Empowerment Program.  I only work with 5 people per month so I can give my utmost attention to each client.

Book your FREE Initial Session to see if this program will get you to where you need to be.

Here's to your blossoming in 2014!