The Conscious Beginning of the Soul Path

Around 7 years ago, I had what many would call a spiritual crisis.

I had a massive awakening of my true self and was stuck in the midst of one of the biggest revolutions Mexico had seen for about a decade (which says a lot because Mexico is known to have an uprising almost every day).  My awakening entailed vivid dreams, synchronistic meetings with benevolent strangers, deep feelings of regret and a calling to something bigger called "god?" or "someone are you out there?".  Trapped in the mires of people smashing buses and signs to oust the tourists, I had fallen into a deep state of peace, bliss and faith, feeling totally at ease with the illusion of violence, hate, anger and suffering.

I returned barely but safely to Canada and was one of the last people off the plane. I strolled out casually from the security doors, not too worried about getting anywhere fast, going at a pace that I had become accustomed to in Mexico over the previous 5 1/2 months.

I walked into the droning sounds of the squeaky clean airport, where life was extremely organized in contrast to where I had come from. I felt like I was living in the in-between place of collective realities, unsure of where I fit in.

My mom was pacing about and worrying that I may not have made it back. I had no idea why she would be so concerned. In my mind, I had gotten to such a point of relating to these planes of reality, knowing that death was merely a passageway to a new reality. My mom took one look at me and said "Oh, dear, you look so...foreign."  Just through her response, I realized that others of my "clan" could not see this state of peace that I was feeling inside. Instead they saw someone who had entirely disconnected from the realities of the world, and was in some far off other place, unable to relate. Little did I know until later in my healing journey, that I was also experiencing the trauma of the trip, feeling culturally isolated in both countries now and emotionally heartbroken that my dream of living in Mexico had not come true. I had dissociated from my pain and was, in essence, lost.

I came back to Canada without a sense of what to do next and I was riddled with inner turmoil and needed questions answered about these odd visions and mystical dreams that I was having. "Why had my life gone the way it had?"  "What was my purpose here?"  "What is the purpose of life and death and heartbreak?"  I was having far more and deeper experiences than what some therapists would say were hysterical or hallucinogenic responses to trauma.  There was a lot of love and protection in my dreams, healing my spirit and soul.  I later came to learn that these were Spirit Guides and that each one of us has one -- angelic and spiritual beings who care about us and are guiding us along our soul path.  To this day, I depend greatly on my dreams for guidance and have come to learn that this is actually quite healthy and common in most tribal societies, as a form of self/soul healing.

I had no idea what I was getting into when calling on a nameless higher power for answers and guidance.  Various spiritual paths opened up and I explored and delved into each one: 12-step programs, counselling, Reiki, religious and spiritual texts, the Enlightenment Intensive, Mediumship, the Yuen Method, Angelic Presence, Medical Intuition, Family Constellations, Meditations, Prayer, Mind Clearing, Shamanic Healing, Ceremonial Work and Journalling.  Through each of these tools, I released those stale emotions of the past and accessed this part of my eternal self that had been hiding behind the pain.  It is still an ongoing journey of growth in order to integrate this awakening experience, as it is continually a challenge on the spiritual path to sort out what love is and isn't, the difference between soul and ego and how to access a life of fulfillment, creativity and happiness in all aspects. It takes a lot of courage and a willingness to be humbled enough to change the perspective of ourselves, our lives and others.

My life has completely transformed from where I was even a year ago, and it continues to unfold, bringing me closer and closer to a sense of what divine truth is and what it isn't.   For example, I never would have thought that I would be doing professional readings, energy healings and mediumship for clients.  But I took the risk and opened, trusting and following my divine guidance, leading me in directions that were still a mystery to me.I am happy, more hopeful, more connected to my self and others, and have a great heart of compassion for people who are feeling like life is impossible and they have lost touch with a greater sense of Love, Peace, Compassion and Truth.

I have met many people who have had similar spiritually expansive experiences and have a difficult time managing life here on earth. Relationships seem to no longer work, the interpersonal conflicts are difficult to cope with, bills are hard to pay, and it can seem like there are endless losses, breaking the heart down.

Personal growth is the point where we can integrate the spiritual truths with the self.  It is a necessary part of the spiritual journey, living closer to that part of ourselves we know in our hearts is who we are meant to be, before we got socialized or condemned by other people's beliefs and opinions of us.

I would highly recommend that if you can relate to aspects of this article, that you open yourself up to finding alternative and traditional forms of inner work to balance and integrate your body, mind and spirit. When you can release blocked energy of hurt, guilt or shame, you allow more divine energy to come into your being and you will alleviate whole lifetimes of hidden and obvious sufferings so you can experience love, connection and peace within your being.

If you would be interested in exploring this further, I offer a free initial consultation session for a Learn to Love Yourself: A Mentorship Program(tm), which is a customized program where we look at all aspects of your life and find ways to bring more spirit and soul into it.  It is a great way to have someone walk with you and witness your journey towards becoming the person you were meant to be, in all of your beauty and abilities. If you would like to book a session or for more information, please visit: www.blossomingheart.ca