Deserving

Many of us grew up with experiences of not being seen, heard, felt, honoured, cherished and held in a way that made us feel like the world is a safe, nurturing, kind, and abundant place. Through the many challenges of relationships, being small, and having to survive, we can end up developing self-defeating habits such as over-eating, under-sleeping, saying yes when we mean no, compromising our needs and dignity for the sake of a pay cheque, or taking whatever is given to us.  Living from our truth and our soul was never considered to be a valued trait, and so we struggle many times in knowing what is and isn’t right for us.  This is even more difficult if you grew up in underprivileged or abusive conditions.  

Through these experiences, we learned not to ask for much, to decrease our standards for life, and lower our expectations in our relationships. Faith, hope and the spark of creativity begin to diminish with every action that requires us to do something against our own knowing or intuition.  Shifting one's thinking and attitude to one of deserving can change one's whole way of being with life, re-prioritizing where one puts their time, energy and heart into.  

Deserving is different than feeling entitled.  Feeling entitled creates an air of superiority, feeling like you deserve more than the next person and develops a demanding attitude in order to do whatever it takes to get what you want.  For example, feeling entitled to the best wine at the dinner party means that you may bulldoze over a friend and hoard the wine in a corner, going to any means possible to be sure that you get it and someone else doesn’t.  However, knowing that you deserve a quality wine means that you know others deserve it, too, and it would make you want to share and create circumstances that allow it to be possible.  Do you see what I mean? By knowing you deserve something makes you more aware that others deserve that, too.

Here is a quote about deserving: 

“We cannot achieve more in life than what we believe in our heart of hearts we deserve to have.”
― James R. Ball

Which means that the Universe can only provide us with exactly what we believe we deserve.  For example, for the longest time I didn’t know that I deserved to have a peaceful, loving, healthy home.  I was so used to conflicts in living situations, not knowing that I could create different dynamics by using my words and acknowledging my needs, that I put up with all sorts of crazy behaviour in my home spaces.  Knowing now that I DESERVE a loving home means that I won’t tolerate anything less than that for myself or the people I surround myself with.  I will strive to create that with others in my life and can encourage my clients to create the homes they feel they deserve.  So then the blessings of love and benevolence can trickle forth in knowing what we do deserve. 

And the opposite is true – in knowing what we don’t deserve.  When we consciously know we don’t deserve to be psychologically punished by someone for years because of a mistake we made and apologized for, we learn to let go beating ourselves up and give the responsibility to the other person to decide whether they want to grow in forgiveness and understanding. See what I mean?

So what do you feel you do and don’t deserve? Make a list of 10 things. It will help you to get clear and start setting boundaries that are in line with your soul. To help you out and inspire you, below are 5 of my “do and don’t deserves”.

I deserve:

1)      A peaceful, loving and healthy home

2)      To live financially stress-free

3)      To have clients who are ready to help themselves instead of depending on me for all of their strength

4)      To be around people who understand my unique lifestyle as a “sensitive intuitive” and child-free woman

5)      To consume healthy and nourishing food and products

I don’t deserve:

1)      People who guilt trip, shame or emotionally manipulate me

2)      People who don’t respect or try to understand my unique lifestyle

3)      Situations that are violent and aggressive

4)      People who make me feel “less than” because I don’t have material signs of success such as a fancy car, owning a house or a husband with a 6-figure income

5)      To be treated with disrespect either through sexual harassment, negating my voice and perspective, or abuse of any kind

Powerful, eh?  Once you write yours out, I suggest that you post them up on your wall, desk, or altar to remind yourself everyday the things you commit yourself to.  You will, in the end, thank yourself for taking care of your values, standards and well-being, bringing in more of what you do want and being aware of all that you don’t want in your life. 

Because you are divine, as is the next person, and you have the power to live more in line with what you deserve.

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Consider booking an intuitive energy healing session (distance or in-person) so Heather Embree can read your energy field, provide with insight into the blocks in your life and to release old or negative energy that is holding you back: www.blossomingheart.ca/