When You’ve Lost Trust

One of the biggest tragedies of a toxic dynamic is that good-hearted people lose trust – whether it’s in themselves, the world around them, the other person or just life in general. It is so hard to live life when there is a part of your being that has to be overly protective. You live each day feeling unsafe and unable to open up to creativity, possibilities or other people.

This mistrust may show up as isolation, anxiety, not working towards your goals and dreams, or staying in the comfort of habits that don’t serve you anymore.

I know because I’ve been there and I still struggle depending on the environment and situation. I’ve had my fair share of bullying and emotionally abusive relationships. I’ve had times where I’ve had to withdraw from others in order to heal or just feel safe.  It’s a heart-breaking space to be in because our true self wants to connect, engage with others, have new experiences and open up to more joy.

To re-gain trust in yourself and others, here are a few tips I’d recommend starting with:

•      Know that the other person is responsible for their actions, words and deeds and need the help or consequences of their behaviour
•      Forgive yourself for allowing yourself to be treated so poorly
•       Remember that you deserve to be treated with respect, empathy and non-violence
•       There is no shame in a failed or difficult relationship
•       Reach out for help from people who get what you are going through and can support you 
•      Do Mindfulness Meditation every day for at least 10 minutes to tune into your true feelings and thoughts – this will start your path of self-empowerment. There are lots of mindfulness meditations on Youtube that you can access 
•       Do activities you like – regardless of what others say or think
•          Do regular affirmations when you feel the self-critical voice is kicking in – “I deserve lovingkindess”; “I can get through this”; “I am a good person”; “I deserve healthy love” – are all possibilities. Just tell yourself this in the mirror a few times or meditate on the affirmations to keep reminding them

Healing trust issues can take a while, depending on the levels of abuse, betrayal and abandonment you’ve experienced and how long ago it has been.

I am not a trauma therapist and I would highly recommend seeing someone who specializes in that area if you are currently going through or still haunted by the effects of trauma. But I am someone who specializes in self-care, self-hood, intuition and heart-centred living.  I especially work with mid-life women (ages 35-60) who want to heal, grow and flourish after toxic relationships.  I can help you re-gain your inner strength and joy for life, and teach you about healthy boundaries, self-awareness and assertiveness.

You deserve to trust yourself, first and foremost, again.

If you would like to start thriving again, I’d suggest booking a FREE “Your Next 3 Steps to Thrive Again” Strategy Session with me.  We meet online or by phone. Just click here to book your spot: